It certainly sounds like the female. What about the other Oscar, doses his sexual organ like a little spike? Does the female look slightly swollen when she is going through the motions? It seems strange that has sexual organ is protruding that she is not producing eggs. This may sound like a stupid question but I sure that you are not missing the actual laying? Sometimes they will leave their eggs quite quickly after laying. This may be down to the eggs not being fertile, while sometimes if they are disturbed. However, I've got a pair of Oscars there are definitely male and female, they haven't laid eggs for a couple of months, but when they do, they tend them for up to three days but they haven't hatched up to yet. Obviously this could be down to bad eggs, or an infertile male.