Welcome to our community, I'm sorry it is under such circumstances.
You are doing well with a 12 year old oscar, On Oscar's lifespan is around 15 years. Just like any other living creature, fish can sometimes develop illnesses, it doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. You say he is having trouble breathing, is this breathing heavily, opening and closing his mouth constantly? I strongly suspect that your fish have some kind of internal problem. What kind of problem, I'm afraid I don't know. Let me look at my book and I will come back